How to Stay Calm When Stressed
None of us set out to feel stressed, and yet we all experience it, likely on a regular basis. Stress and anxiety are human experiences and likely one of the similarities all of us can find in one another. Whether it’s work, school, or relationships that are causing us stress, what is also universal about stress are the strategies to reduce it.
We can learn to stay calm, despite being overwhelmed. We simply need to practice. There are clear steps to take to ensure our ability to stay calm. I recommend practicing these steps often.
The first step when you are feeling acute stress or notice yourself getting worked up are to stop what you’re doing, if you are safely able to. For example, if you find yourself getting frustrated with a problem you’re working through to study for a math exam, walk away from it for a few minutes. It won’t help you recall or retain information to stay frustrated and get more upset. Taking a break will help.
The next step is to take a moment and center yourself. Take a few deep, relaxing breaths. This will help slow down your body’s physiological reaction to stress. Notice how your body feels: is it tense? Is it cold? Are you breathing rapidly? Try to calm down those feelings by deep breathing, warming yourself up, or cooling yourself down.
Next you should try to relax your muscles. It can be helpful to stretch or take a nap or even just lay down. When you experience stress, you will notice your muscles become tight and this just enhances the stress your body feels. You can do relaxing techniques for the muscles such as tightening your grip and then letting it loose several times. You can also give yourself a hand or foot massage if you are able. These are areas that we hold a lot of tension.
You should always try to identify the source of the stress. Once you have calmed your body, it is time to calm your mind. Ask yourself why you are so stressed and what you can do to relieve yourself of this stress? Now that you have a clearer state of being it should be easier to answer these questions in an objective way. Put a plan together based on what you know. Identify the role that you play in causing yourself or others stress and try to mitigate that role. Often, without wanting to, we put stress on ourselves.
For example, it is no wonder you feel stress for the math exam if you expect yourself to ace it. If you can recognize this high standard you’re holding yourself to and then reduce it, you might feel less stress. I’m not suggesting that your grades don’t matter, but I am suggesting you recognize the impacts of the belief that you must perfectly test this way.
Now you should start the cycle over. Once you decide something new or a path for moving forward to reduce your stress, you may need to use the tools to destress yourself because even choosing a new path can feel stressful.
It is okay to notice that you’re overwhelmed and not calm. This is normal. What is helpful, though, is to notice it and work through it. This will improve our overall quality of life.
